WHY Live in the Moment – Confessions of a Dominant Personality

Phuong White Emotional Intelligence, Encouragements, Motivation Leave a Comment

KidsThis morning I woke up at 4am sadden by the thought that my children were leaving me. School just started and this year my baby girl is sixteen, legally able to drive. I watched with mixed emotions as the little white Civic pulled out of the driveway with two of the most precious people to me in its possession. I had prepared for this, I suppose, for sixteen years.

The last few months were filled with driving lessons, practice and watching my daughter’s excited anticipation of passing her freedom exam. My son jabbed his sister for days about the possibility of failing. But when she passed, he was thrilled! He now had a more liberal chauffeur to trek him around. His first request was for her to take them to eat.  “Remember, you promise we’d go when you got your license!”, he said.

This made me smile. His big sister’s promise of a food run was made many years ago when Jonathan was a toddler. The memory brought with it a flood of images of my children playing on my office floor, of my work projects, school functions, birthday parties, the sales and recruiting that I secured and lost in my business, as well as the arguments and laughter in my life through the years. I remember the hours of sitting in the car pool lane thinking it’d be nice to hold an extra appointment during this idle time.  Now that I have the extra time, I’d rather be sitting in the car pool lane. 

This morning as I stood and watch them pull away, my daily hot lemon tea smelled stronger and tasted more sour. My husband looked more handsome then usual and even my dog’s annoying plea to go out was a gift to me. Every day before this day, my children were working towards learning the skills needed to travel with purpose in life. And every day from this day forward, they will be moving even faster along their own journey. This acknowledgment is leaving a sentimental knot in my throat that is now making my tea bitter sweet.

When I was younger I was a HIGH quick starter and implementer. Some professionals in the personality profiling field would call this a dominant personality that thrives on results. I was very focused on business development and wealth accumulation.

Many dominant personalities view working hard as a way of providing love and security.

Unfortunately not all personalities agree with this train of thought. And this is why there seems to be such a divide between people, when in reality we all do value similar things. We just take different routes to reach the same end. Because we speak different personality languages, our one message gets lost in translation!

I believe we are driven by our life experiences, but there is also a hardwired component to our modes of operation that is important for us to understand. Broadly speaking we can divide personalities into 4 main categories with 4 accordingly preferred modes of operations. Read more about Personality Profiling HERE. For those with the gene to push for ACHIEVEMENTS, living in the moment can be difficult. Quick Starters, Dominant types tend to struggling with guilt. They look at the more Steady and Fact Finding personalities with a bit of envy in personal matters. I remember wishing that I was more like the PTA moms when my kids were younger.

BUT…. I was dominant and THIS is how God made me. Once I learned and understood how I was hardwired, I was able to logic my way out of the unless game of guilt. I may not be baking brownies for my daughter’s school. But I CAN teach her how to break records and leave her mark in other ways! There is value in both, I just happened to be better at the latter.  And knowing this gave me permission to express LOVE in my unique way but in a manner that others would understand.

If you are a strong improviser and you thrive on your ability to imagine and see the big picture in most things, then chances are you have a HIGH Quick Starter tendency also known as a Dominant personality. You are made up of three other less dominant personality archetypes. I encourage you to learn more about YOU. Embrace what is great about your dominant self then accept, trust and listen to the other quiet voices that can balance out your emotions. This will help you navigate through life more smoothly. If success truly is a journey and not a destination; then why not enjoy the ride along the way?


ENJOY the Moment

Top 3 tips for Dominant Personalities

1.  DON’T WORRY ABOUT LOOSING GROUND.   Dominant types have a leg up in the “achievement” arena simply because of their innate DRIVE. You are the first on the scene and the last to leave. If you commit to anything, consider it done. So if you know this, then you DO have the time to enjoy your people! Waving to and watching your children drive away every morning is a treat. Trust me, I imagine there will not be many years of this.

2.  STOP BEFORE YOU ANSWER ANYTHING.  Quick Starters and Implementers tend to want to mark things off as “Done” quickly so you can move to the next task. This can at times come across as rude, bossy or having an attitude of indifference. You could very well be unintentionally creating many of the interpersonal problems that you have. I’ve found that when I take a little more time to answer a question, my answer comes out completely different then what I originally planned!

3.  PUT A MONETARY VALUE ON IT.  Whatever the project or activity, think of it as an opportunity that is only available to you for one week and one time only. You have this one chance to make this one decision. Now…put a dollar value on it and shuffle it from most valuable to least. If you can’t put a dollar value on it, then it needs to go on the TOP of your list. Are you breaking out in cold sweats? IF so, go back to tip #1.

Here’s to you picking up your unique torch and lighting the way!
Thanks for stopping by.



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